Room With A Blue Sky View

     This view is of the blue sky as seen from Rocky's hospital room last Saturday. There is no blue like sky blue!


     Rocky shows a little improvement in that he is eating better thanks to an appetite stimulant they are giving him. He also is less confused, thanks to the end of the heavy-duty pain meds. He's still getting pain meds but only the same ones he could take as needed at home.


     Physical therapists and occupational therapists come in to work with him every day and he was feeling frisky tonight, teasing me that he was going to get up and take a shower. I told him only with a nurse on each side would he have my permission. Then he asked if he had any clothes he could wear in public. I told him they were in the closet. He asked with a wicked grin if I would get them out. "Absolutely not!" I said, "Are you planning to go somewhere?" "I'm going to escape," he answered. I shook my head at him, "If you show up at the house, Louie (our beagle) is going to bark at you." It felt good to be bantering a little with him, even though his teasing smile was more wicked than teasing. Oh, Rocky, what am I going to do with you?


     Well, let's see what tomorrow brings. Oh, one thing it will bring I already know. My friend, Molly, is coming in the morning to visit with me. It will be so good to talk with her.  

The Hospital Patient

Hospital Patient

I stand in the doorway of my husband's hospital room

And look at the woman lying in bed across the hall,

She is the only patient my husband can see from his position,

But he's not well enough to be curious about his neighbors,

I imagine we are all that she can see

As I feed him and give him sips of water,

I cannot walk across the hall and visit her,

My husband is in isolation and I must remain

Yellow gowned and rubber gloved.

I cannot tell how old she is,

I see her lying on her back with only

Her face and hair showing above the covers,

Sometimes her hair looks blonde, sometimes silver,

A young middle-aged man in weary clothes comes every day

And he does for her what I do for my husband,

He feeds her and gives her sips of water,

If he is her son, he is devoted,

If he is her husband, she is lucky,

I stand in our doorway and she looks my way,

I flutter my fingers in a wave,

She doesn't see, she is looking beyond me,

And then her face changes and she is focused,

She slips her hand from under the blanket

And waves back,

I think she smiles.

                  
                                                                 

Irma "Mimi" Rockwell, April 13, 2010

Rebirth: Redbud Tree

     Rocky and I have watched this redbud tree grow from a sapling, and each April for the last decade at least we have enjoyed its bloom early in the Spring.


     This year, Rocky will miss it so I have to enjoy it doubly so. Rocky is still in the hospital, of course, and has been in Select Specialty Hospital for one week today. I spoke with his doctor yesterday who said there is still hope that Rocky will make it, but he has to start eating. I reported that to Rocky and he ate much better today. He is also less anxious but is on some heavy-duty medicines. As the doctor says, he has lots of problems and is in poor physical condition. But he has not reached the "Comfort Care Only" stage, yet. 


     We wait to see what the near future holds and what God wills.  


Mimi

Rocky In The Hospital

                                                   The View From Rocky's Hospital Room

     On March 17, Rocky went to the ER with a slight fever and exacerbation of his COPD. Two days there and he fell and cracked three ribs. It was all downhill from there.

     The meds they gave him made him delusional and a little hard to handle. Finally he reached discharge stage and because we didn't think I could do what he needed here at home, he was transferred to a skilled nursing facility. The first night there, he had such abdominal pain that they sent him to the ER and he was re-admitted to the hospital again, this time with an infected gall bladder. 

     More pain, more meds, more delusions, lots of talk about dying. We prepared for him to die, and reviewed his desires about internment and memorial service. I read the 23rd Psalm to him and he asked me to read more Psalms. I read Tabori's poetry from The Shores Of Eternity, a collection of positive poems about the wonder of dying.

      The Hospice folks came in and evaluated him and he qualifies. He stopped talking about dying and said he wants to live as long as he can as long as he can be comfortable. Finally, on April 5 his son, Geoff, and I decided an appropriate discharge was to move Rocky to the Select Specialty hospital, which is independent from Bristol Regional Hospital but leases space from them on the 5th floor. 

     On April 6, Rocky was transferred. He is no longer getting morphine. His gall bladder has been drained since he is not a candidate for surgery because of his COPD. He has received

lots of antibiotics and will receive even more since he now has developed two more infections and is in isolation. As of today, Geoff and I have to wear a gown and rubber gloves when we're in his room. Hope that doesn't last too long.

     The goal for him that we've all agreed on is for him to gain strength and the ability to take care of his bathroom needs and walk short distances in the house. Then he will be discharged to our home with Hospice following.

     Please pray for us. 

Hospital

     My husband, Rocky, was hospitalized on March 17 because of exacerbation of his (COPD) emphysema and fever. They were stabilizing him when somehow he cracked three ribs so now he has a lot of pain and as a result is a little confused. 


     Personally, I am either coming down with a cold or my hayfever is acting up. I didn't go into the hospital today which is problematic since an anesthesiologist was coming to do a Consult to see what he could suggest for pain management. I also had a scoliosis test that I had to re-schedule.


     Once we find out when Rocky can come home, his son and grandaughter will work out a plan for coming here to help us out.

Rocky's Birthday "Party"

     Five years ago Rocky was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, the kind that cannot be surgically removed. We didn't think he was going to make it and were prepared for the worst. 


     Miraculously, he tolerated and responded well to chemotherapy and radiation treatments. He gave up smoking, although slowly, and went on to have a hernia removed, was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and then had a mild stroke that affected his vision in the only good eye he has. By the summer of 2005, the COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder) was causing him most of his physical problems and over the years, he learned to administer his own breathing treatments, uses supplemental oxygen, and uses a cane.


     So, last year when I realized he probably was going to celebrate his 80th birthday, I really wanted to give him a surprise party. But he asked me not to, and although I considered giving him one anyway, when I thought about his frail physical condition, I decided not to.


     However, 80 years total of life and 5 years of cancer survival plus the other problems he's had, I really wanted to recognize his 80th birthday in some way. That's when I came up with the idea of the birthday card shower through the USPS. As of today, his birthday, he had received 74 cards, about 8 e-mail messages, and numerous phone calls.


     So, today, just the two of us had a party! We had cake:

with candles on it; one big 8 and one 0.

Rocky loves chocolate cake!

     Then there were presents, one from me and one from our handyman, a pair of candlesticks he had hand carved.

     He was especially pleased with the Bose music system I gave him.

We spent the rest of the afternoon opening half of the birthday cards. Most everyone wrote notes with theirs, so I read the notes and recorded the sender. Hopefully, Rocky will be able to carry out his plan to tell a story while I record it with my little Flip camera and then post it on You Tube as a thank-you to everyone who sent a card. 

Here Rocky is with his cards,

We are hoping our grandchildren will be able to get away and come over this weekend.

It's "iffy" since Jessica works in a restaurant and Chris has many obligations around music.  But Rocky and I have most of a cake here, and we can fill the house with music!

     

In Like A Lion, Out Like A Lamb

     This is our "castle", our home in the woods, in late winter. Every day this week, we've had snow on the ground in the mornings but by afternoon it's melted off.
     Do you remember the old saying about March? "In like a lion, out like a lamb"? Since childhood I've hoped that March would begin windy and wild, because that would mean April would begin softly. Since my birthday is only one day into April, then I would have a pleasant day--at least weather-wise.
     That hope has only intensified as an adult since we often get a hard freeze the end of March, first of April, that kills blueberry and azalea blossoms which makes me grit my teeth. It will even set back peony, iris, and daylily growth, not kill it but the plant will have to start over again.
     Now this year confuses me. The first couple days of March haven't been windy, but they have been cold with snow on the ground every morning so far. Does that mean the lamb of April will bring warm temperatures with gusts of wind? 
     Well, I'm sure you remember what Mark Twain said about the weather, "Everyone talks about it but nobody does anything about it." (Sort of like our national economy!)
     Since that's the case, then I'll just keep on hibernatin' until it's time to exchange my wool cap for a head scarf!

Anticipation for Rocky's Birthday

     As of today, Rocky has received somewhere around 50 birthday cards and there's two more days to go. Because of some inquiries I've had, I realized some people might have gotten confused about whether they were being invited to send Rocky a birthday card or come to a party. 


     So when I went to the grocery store yesterday, I ordered a birthday cake just in case someone drops by. There's always coffee brewing in our household!


     I also bought Rocky a special birthday present--a combination Bose radio and cd player. Our great room has cathedral ceilings so I ordered the Bose radio for large spaces, so it should fill the entire house with music. There is so little Rocky can do anymore to entertain himself, but one thing he can do is listening to the PBS radio station. So, I'm hoping he will enjoy this gift.


     I'll let you know in a couple of days!  

A Smoothie Move

     Last night I decided to make Strawberry Smoothies with a new blender. I put the 2 cups of partially-thawed strawberries along with one mashed up banana and a king-size dribble of orange juice. I mixed it up and the blender buttons worked fine. Then I added 2 cartons of strawberry yogurt, and hit the "Blend" button. The mixture turned a beautiful shade of pink, although it was a bit closer to the Pepto Bismol shade I didn't want to think about. 

     I wanted to empty the contents into a small pitcher and it just didn't want to dislodge from the blender's base. So I turned the glass, and turned it, and turned it. Finally, I felt it give, and OOPS! I had Pepto Bismol Smoothie all over the counter, the little pitcher, the toaster, the blender, and dribbling down the cupboard to the floor.

     What a mess! And right before bedtime when I was hoping for a snack. I took an aspirin instead.

Mimi

The 80 Year Old Antique

     My husband, Rocky, known as "The Old Coot" on another of my blogs used to collect and tinker with antique cars. That's just an example of an interest of a man who has been interested in many subjects, and thereby becoming a most interesting person to know.
     In the 35 years I've known him, Rocky has never ceased to amaze me with his abilities from playing the piano to laying stone to building furniture. And telling stories about it all!
     Rocky will become 80 years old on March 4. I wanted to have a surprise party for him, but he asked me not to and with his health (and the weather) keeping both of us inside this winter, I decided it wasn't a good idea.
     So as a substitute celebration, I thought it would be fun to shower Rocky with birthday cards. So I've sent out postcards, e-mail invitations, and Facebook announcements to ask friends, new and old, to surprise Rocky with a mailed birthday card on or around his birthday, March 4, two weeks from today. I've invited them to include a personal message, a memory, or an anecdote if they wish.
     If you're reading this and did not get a notice about the card shower, please send him one. He will be surprised, heart-touched, and probably embarrassed. Thanks!  Mimi

The King Cake

   

This is a true story about a Mardi Gras custom:

     Our very good friends lived about 75 miles north of New Orleans so we visited in the area several times a year for well over a decade. 

     One year we were there for a storytelling event the weekend before Mardi Gras started. Everyone was at the community college theater where the storytelling was taking place. I left the theater early so I could go to our host's house to help set the table etc., in preparation for a late-night party. 

     No one else was there when I arrived. As I got out the cups and plates etc. I noticed that someone had left a cake on the table while we were all gone. "What ugly purple and gold icing," I thought. (Remember, I come from Indiana and didn't know anything about Mardi Gras customs.) 

     Wanting to be helpful, I decided to cut the cake into squares, and I had made the first long vertical cuts and had started on the horizontal when a storyteller, and baker of the cake, walked through the door. With her loudest voice, "What are you doing?" she screeched. I was confused, holding the knife in the air, "Why, cutting this cake into serving pieces." 

     Needless to say, she took the knife away from me and firmly instructed me on the meaning  of a King Cake, the special tradition surrounding its cutting, and that it definitely is NOT cut prior to the festivities.  

Mimi

Happy Valentines Day

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

Anonymous

“Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.”

Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.

“Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.”

Anonymous

“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.”

Hoosier Farmer

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”

Erich Segal

“Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun.”

Anonymous

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.”

Aerosmith

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”

Jules Renard

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”

Peter Ustinov

“Love is a grave mental disease.”

Plato

A Whipped Cream Winter

     Ever wonder what it's like to live inside a marshmallow? Well, we here at Castle  Yonder are finding out--once again. The big snow of the East Coast missed us last weekend, but found us yesterday. Still, we didn't get as much snow as DC, Philly, etc. but measured 8.5 inches accumulated on our deck railings.


     Snow like this used to mean snow play--building snowmen, throwing snowballs, and finding things to slide on. Especially when the grandchildren were visiting, and way long, long ago back to childhood.


     Now, snow means sitting inside looking out--if you're lucky. We are definitely snowbound. Running our 4-wheel drive truck would mean shoveling it out first and getting the ice off it which is not only too labor-intensive for us oldies, but dangerous for us as well. 


      I've pretty much used up all the quickie meals from the grocery store I've had frozen, and am at the point of finding recipes to go with what I'm digging up out of our small chest freezer. BTW, that freezer is over 25 years old. It's never been defrosted and I can see ice build-up at the bottom. Also, I spilled a package of pecans in there so I see nuts scattered through the ice crystals. I hate to think how much energy it's using!


     Fortunately, our dear neighbor, Rudy, called this morning to see if we need anything. I asked if he thought he could get back here with his vehicle, and he said, "I'll walk it in if I have to." Bless his heart!


     So all we really need is a gallon of milk and our mail. I also have 4 letters here he'll pick up and mail for us. Hopefully, by the 17th when I have an eye appointment, we'll be able to get out.

Hibernating Isn't Just For The Bears

     We're hibernating here at Castle Yonder. The first 12 days of January set a weather record by staying under 32 degrees. It's barely warmed up since then. 

     In addition, Rocky continues having pain of one sort or another. Gall bladder pain seems to have diminished, but now he has lower back and hip pain. To the point, he is having difficulty walking. The pain meds he was given for the fractured bones in his back last summer do help so he gets some relief.

     I have been crocheting up a storm. I had a lot of unused yarn from projects never completed or I had bought too much. I took all of that and have completed two small afghans, one for a baby and one for a toddler. Now I'm working on a multi-color full size afghan. I think I am getting the crocheting out of my system as I am beginning to think of other projects I want to do yet this winter.

      Yesterday, I saw daffodil leaves coming up through the compost in the flower beds.

I knew they would come back, and their shining yellow faces will be most welcome. That may be a while yet as a snow storm is predicted for this weekend, and indeed it has started snowing very finely outdoors now.

     Time is passing so rapidly. It's hard to believe January is almost over.

The Holidays

MimiRock at Castle Yonder

The Rockwell Family

Jessica, Geoff, Chris, Mimi, Rocky

     We had a chaotic Christmas at Castle Yonder! It started on Dec. 11 when we had our first snow of the winter season, about 2 inches which made the woods look really pretty.

     Then Dec. 14, Rocky started having abdominal pain. We know he has gall stones and our Family Practitioner was very pessimistic about his being able to tolerate anesthesia in order to remove them surgically. Well, he toughed through it until the next afternoon and then insisted on going to the ER. I tried very hard to get him there, but due to my increased breathing difficulties I knew I could not drop him off, park the car, and walk back into the hospital in the bitter cold weather.

     We got ourselves as far as my car in the carport, and then I called 911 and the emergency crew took him there. We were pretty sure they would admit him, so I did not go along. They did admit him and for awhile talked about doing surgery. Then they saw how bad his lungs are, told him his odds of survival, and that it was his decision.

     By that time, Thursday, the pain had stopped so he decided not to have surgery, but to give it another try at controlling it with diet (hah!). I visited him for four hours on Thurs.  Friday there was a huge snowstorm and the hospital found reasons to keep him, so he was warm and safe in the hospital.

     But here at home, I was snowbound! Our neighbor, Rudy, managed to get up our hill Fri. afternoon to bring me the mail, but I understand he slipped and slid all the way back home. But I felt very secure knowing we have a generator that will kick in if we lose our power, and a gas log for additional heat. Just in case, I took the flashlight to bed with me.

     Geoff came 4-wheeling in late Sat. afternoon, but didn't quite make it. He got to the top of the hill right before our parking lot and must have taken his foot off the gas because his big diesel truck slid out of his control and ended up sideways across the road so no one else could get in or out.

     So then the two of us were showbound until Mon. morning when two of our friends with a 4-wheel drive truck and chains got in and pulled him out. By that time the sun was in and out and the snow began to melt off. Then Geoff could go to the grocery store and the grandkids could get in. It's stayed cold but no more precip.

     Christmas time is not the time to try to diet, so Rocky has enjoyed all the food that got cooked up by Geoff and Jessica. They left over the weekend, and sure enough, the abdominal pain started again Sunday evening and has been intermittent since then. 

     I don't know what to expect. 2009 was a year of great changes for us and thinking about what 2010 might bring produces a lot of anxiety. But, hey, the wishes can't hurt, so I'm wishing you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

"...The goose is getting fat."

"Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat.
Please to put a penny
in the old man's hat.
If you don't have a penny,
A ha' penny will do,
If you don't have a ha' penny,
God bless you!"





Here's a poem I learned many many years ago. And it always visits my brain right about this time of year--every year.


I posted it with the photo of our 2009 Christmas tree which probably wouldn't have gotten put up without the help of my niece, Rosalie. She helped me buy it, she and her husband got it wedged into the planter, and started digging out ornaments.


However, after they left I began remembering other ornaments, so went to our storage to dig out more. It took me three days to decorate this little ol' tree and then a couple more to find places for things that came out of the boxes. Way more is in storage than is being put to use and I can't imagine where it will all end up someday. 


I used to justify collecting fragile glass ornaments by saying someday I would give them away as gifts. Am I ready? I need to give that some more thought.


Also, imagine what a ha' penny would buy when today twice that much, a full penny, won't buy anything by itself. Times...they change, but tunes, trinkets, and traditions live on.

MimiRock at Castle Yonder

First Snow of Season

                   Bird feeder on our deck during 

               the first snow of the season on

               Dec. 5, 2009

Steps leading to parking lot at approach

to Castle Yonder during first season's 

snowfall on Dec. 5, 2009

MimiRock at Castle Yonder

Thanksgiving Weekend 2009

It's December! How can that be? One holiday flows into the next with very few days in between, it seems.


My niece and her husband, Rosalie and Leslie, were here for five days over Thanksgiving and in addition to cooking a huge feast and some freezer meals for us, they did some projects around the house. Rosalie fitted some slipcovers I had bought for our recliners, planted eight Asiatic lilies, and helped me buy and place a Christmas tree, then dig out some ornaments. Leslie cleaned off our deck, cut off some grape and bittersweet vines, and pruned my blueberries. 

We also took a tour of The Bristol Speedway "Christmas In Lights." Wow! I hadn't seen it for over five years and it has expanded and is more organized into themes. And even more, they have set up some displays in the middle of the stadium so you actually get to drive on the racetrack. It's pretty spectacular!


MimiRock at Castle Yonder

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Rocky and I are very much looking forward to our Thanksgiving company, Rosalie and Leslie Rosebrock. So to all our blog friends, have a blessed Thanksgiving Day and a blessed rest of the year!

MimiRock at Castle Yonder

Veterans Day

These are two pictures of my son-in-law, Tom Hohmann, who I honor today on Veteran's Day. Tom is a Vietnam Marine veteran, and currently serves as Secretary of the California State Council for the Vietnam Veterans Of America.

Not only am I proud of that but also that he joined our family by marrying my daughter, Sherry, in 1990.

Tom served in the Marines from April, 1968 to 1972 and identifies well with the old adage, "War is Hell." He was hospitalized three times in Vietnam, once for wounds and twice for malaria.

To those of us who remember the '60's, we all know that the attitude towards active soldiers was different than it is today toward the Gulf War and Iraq and Afghanistan soldiers and veterans. People go out of their way now to say they support our troops even though they hate the war. Back then, people hated the war and the soldiers; they held the soldiers as responsible for the Vietnam War as the officials who sent them there to fight Communism.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is now treated like a new disorder when, actually, it was first named that in the Vietnam War. It was called "gassed" in the First World War to explain unusual behavior of the veterans of that conflict. Using a different word, my cousin had a "nervous breakdown" when his unit was assigned to bury the Japanese dead on some Pacific Island during WWII. The father of one of my good friends, a disabled veteran of WWI, killed himself and his son when he found out his son had enlisted to go to Korea.

My brother served in the U.S. Navy during WWII, but lucked out and was stationed in Australia. I had several cousins who also served in the Pacific, and none were killed. I had an uncle in Iowa whose two brothers had been killed and I remember his parents showing me their purple hearts when I visited. I had a cousin my own age who came home from Korea and killed himself with his brothers War souvenir pistol.

None of these stories are that dramatic, and I mention them only to recognize that all people who live during non-peaceful times are adversely affected by the incidents of that time, even a little girl like I was.

Tom was assigned to the 2nd Battalion 5th Marines who were fighting about 25 miles SW of Da Nang. His company was Golf Company. He arrived in Vietnam as a Private in 1968, was there for more than three years--three years!-- and discharged with the rank of Sergeant.

Tom is a gentle bear of a man, bearded now who likes the neighborhood children to think he's "crazy."

He is a computer whiz and keeps up with all his VVA duties including many of their websites. He does a lot of household chores and loves my daughter very much. Unfortunately, he suffers from PTSD which interferes with the quality of his life and gets some limited treatment at the VA medical center.

I am very proud to have him as my son-in-law and I pray that the rest of his life remains calm, peaceful, and honorable.