2010 June 26 Full Moon

Storytelling for Midsummer Magic

     Saturday, June 26, would have been my and Rocky's 34th wedding anniversary. I knew it would be an emotional day for me, so I asked my granddaughter to come be with me. I had planned to take her to dinner, but better yet we were invited to a storytelling party in Jonesborough. 

     One of my new friends, Pam Miller, had been celebrating Mid-Summers Night on the closest June Saturday for the past few years in which her visitors would read from Shakespeare's Mid-Summer Night's Dream in Pam's backyard garden. This year she decided to switch it to a storytelling event and asked tellers to choose something appropriate to fairies or nature or fairytales. I was one of the tellers as was my friends, Molly Catron, and Linda Poland, and a couple new folks I had not met before.

This is Pam Miller, Hostess

     I was dependent on my iPhone for pictures because I couldn't find my Canon before I left the house. So I did not get pictures of Pam's charming "Fairy Tale Cottage." So I'll describe what I could see of it because the living room was full of people on folding chairs mixed in with antique furniture Pam has been collecting for years. First her front porch was hung with buntings of white gauzy muslin and mini lights. The winding path to the cottage which is well set back from the Main Street of Jonesborough was lined with solar lights which her family had brought to her for their annual summer visit. The feel of the living room was light and airy with crystal chandelier pulls, cut-glass lamps, white walls, white curtains edged with cutwork, a white brick fireplace with a mantel holding numerous glass candlesticks with lit white candles. Red and white wine was served in old American glass footed tumblers. The dining room table held snack foods, drinks, and light desserts. Books of fairytales were abundant lying on the sofa table, desk, and coffee table.

This is my close friend, Molly Catron. Molly is serving the wine here, not chugging it down!

     As soon as Jessica and I entered, we were crowned with a tiara wreath of lavender, so that delicious fragrance delighted us for the rest of the evening. My wreath now hangs on the cupboard in my private bathroom and should stay freshly aromatic for the rest of the summer.

Getting Used To the Changes

     I went out only once last week, and that was to the Medical Center to have a SSEP test ordered by the Neuro-orthopedist who I haven't actually met yet. I guess he wants to see my bones and nervous system on the inside of my skin before he sees me face to face.


     I had never heard of such a test before or know anyone who has had one. So I didn't know what to expect. The only instructions before hand were to wash my hair the night before, not to use any gels or sprays on it until after the test, not to drink any caffeine, and bring a driver. The last instruction made me speculate that I would be sedated. 


     Not so. The Tech said that I wouldn't have needed a driver and she didn't know why they keep telling people that! But my good friend, Molly, had picked me up and driven me and now during this 2-hour test, she was out running errands, including dropping my new Miele vacuum cleaner off at the repair shop.
(Somehow the handle broke ending up with a huge crack in its seams.)


     I asked why the test would take so long. The Tech said the length varies with the person. It is an "averaging test" she said, and only one area can be tested at a time until there's enough data gathered to figure an average. Then the Tech can move on to another area. There were four areas to test with the elctrodes they pasted to my left ankle, right ankle, left forearm, and right forearm. However, they pasted lots more electrodes around my body, to my legs, arms, back, neck, chest, and head; in fact, several to my head.


     What is this testing, I asked, what are they trying to find out? The answer was that they want info about whether the spinal cord is doing its job of being the central dispatcher of the nervous system. The question has arisen because I have an extreme case of scoliosis, curvature of the spine, and doctors are speculating that my spine is pressing against my lungs which is causing me severe shortness of breath. 


     The four "special" electrodes are stimulated with heat that then travels on down the nerve to the extremities. Because I have been retaining some fluid recently that collects around my ankles, it took longer for the heat to work its way through the "water." But overall, the test took only a little more than 90 minutes. Having heat slowly move through your nerves was not comfortable, but it wasn't unbearable. Just tedious--I almost fell asleep a couple times. Which was good because it meant I was relaxed.


     I don't have the results yet and may not have them until I finally see Dr. Lorio on August 12. I've seen his Nurse Practitioner, but not the doctor, the "spine man." I've already had the MRI that was ordered. I asked how long the spine man would give me to discuss my case, and was told, "15 minutes." 


     "What?!" I cried, "he's going to tell me my diagnosis, and discuss my options and relevant treatment plans, all in 15 minutes?" He can do it, I was told, because he'll have reviewed my chart (oh, yeah!) and looked at my test results.
Even though he's a surgeon and I willingly am going to see him, I am NOT having surgery on my spine. I don't care how talented he is and how state-of-the-art his techniques are, I'm NOT having spinal surgery. Not at my age. Unh, unh.


     So, I'll keep you posted. I'm calling every week to see if he's had any cancellations so I can move that appointment closer if possible.


     But that was the only reason I went out last week. Sunday, I did drive over to Abingdon to see my best friend's newly remodeled kitchen. We visited and drank tea for an hour or so and laid some plans for the holidays of the summer.
My only vacation plans are for a trip to Indianapolis in mid-August to attend my grandson's Drum and Bugle Corps contest finals. And, excitedly I tell you, my Abingdon friend and I are researching some plans to go to Taos, New Mexico over Labor Day. That will be a real adventure and I hope it comes to pass.









     

Flower Gardening

    




     For several days, I've been getting my exercise by pulling some weeds in the flower beds. Here are some pictures of my new Asiatic lilies. 

My niece, Rosalie, and her husband, Leslie, planted these for me last November when they visited.  

  

They make easy arrangements to bring into the house. A stalk will have one or two flowers and 4-6 buds so they continue to open in a vase.

There are still a few in the garden yet to bloom.

My New Journey Begins

     Today is June 1, and I opened my copy of Rich With Years, Daily Meditations on Growing Older and discovered June 1 was turned down with a dog ear. Evidently, I had been impressed with it last year and wanted to note it and had no pencil available. Here's part of what it says: "I want to keep trying, take risks, keep going, experiment with life, undertake new ventures, and find fresh challenges."


     Well, that doesn't seem to be the PROPER thing to do while mourning! But I put PROPER aside way back in the '60's. Rocky made the observation about me once that I like challenges. Oh, not sky diving or getting a medical degree, but problem-solving or organizing or producing a new group, a new venue, a new story. Some fresh interest; some fresh insight; a new friendship. I think he was right.


     But I do have a background in social work so I realize that taking care of myself now involves expressing all the emotions I currently have and not allowing new challenges to distract me. I am choosing no time table and making no big decisions. And no obligations other than feed my pets and pay my bills. I want to have plenty of time available to deal with the grief that I feel and will continue to feel for awhile. 


     Writing in the Caring Bridge journal was very therapeutic for me, but I am finished there for now. This Blog and my own personal Journal (the one on my word processor that no one else sees) become my current writing outlets. 


     However, I feel there are some loose ends to be tied up before this Blog will feel complete for me. And those loose ends involve some pictures, so let's see if I can upload them into the blog and not have to put them in a side-bar. 


     Of course, Rocky's illness and death account for much of the time away from this Blog, but during that time and especially in May after his death, Castle Yonder and I had several visitors. The first was my niece, Rosalie from Ohio, and her daughter, my Great-Niece Annette from Michigan who came to visit the last weekend of April. 

Rosalie and Annette

April 25, 2010

     On May 5, Rocky's son, Geoffrey, arrived from Georgia and stayed through May 23. Here he is with his son, our grandson, Christopher who is all dressed up due to a concert in Lynchburg, VA that Geoff and I took time out to attend.

Geoff and Christopher

May 21, 2010

Our grandaughter, Jessica, was there also sitting next to me and in my thoughtless state of mind I didn't turn and snap a pic of her!

     Of course, the Celebration Of Rocky's Life (in lieu of a funeral) brought several of our family members from Ohio, North Carolina, South Carolina, Boston and Philadelphia. I don't have a lot of pictures yet as I took very few that day. Here are my two sons, Alan and Eric, flanking my nephew-in-law, Leslie.

From left, Alan from Philadelphia;

Leslie from near Toledo; and

Eric from Boston

May 23, 2010

Me with my nephew, Marv, who is from North Carolina.

Marv had a stroke about 3 years ago which has 

very much altered his life as a successful businessman.

My son-in-law, Armas, and son, Alan. 

May 23, 2010

     I just realized that these photos that I did take are all of males! Hmmmmm!

There were a lot of female worker bees keeping the hors d'ouvres and punch flowing from the kitchen out to the carport where the tables were set up. They also prettied Castle Yonder up by supplying their own garden flowers for flower arrangements. My best friends, Jean and Molly, and my niece, Rosalie,

did most of the work. Molly also constructed a Power Point presentation of Rocky's life in old photographs that could be viewed in the carport. Her husband, Wayne, transported guests from the parking lot of the church one mile away from us back and forth on our one-lane curvy road leading to CY.

     There's no picture here of my grandaughter, Jessica, although I did see some that were taken by Alan on his Flip video camera. He left them for me on my computer's desktop but I haven't taken the time to import them into my photo software so I can access them singly.

     My VASA friend, Norris, from Virginia Beach drove over for the Celebration and then stayed on with me for a week. Here she is:

Norris at Castle Yonder, May 26, 2010

Norris is wonderfully easy to have as a house guest. One of my other friends calls her an "angel," since she goes where needed and is always ready to help. All of my friends, both male and female, have been angels for me and Geoff through these past two months. They are:

Jean, Molly, Rudy, Leigh Ann, Jack, Rosalie, Diana, Paul, 

Organizations that fall into the "angel" category are first and foremost,

Wellmont Hospice House staff and Don McGregor, Bereavement Counselor

Susan Early, Social Worker, Bristol Regional Medical Center

J. R. Gilmer, Elder, Beulah Land Baptist Church

David Wilson, Director, Goosepimple Junction Adventure Camp

Pitching in to be part of the Celebration Of Rocky's Life Memorial service was

Leon Overbay, Isaac Freeman, Pat Musselman, Molly Catron, Paul Conco, 

Bill Marburg, Tineke Labrie

And then, how interesting LIFE works out. My best friend from Garrett, IN high school, Sue and her husband, Wayne, were attending a conference in Knoxville and drove two hours north to Bristol to spend just about two hours visiting me on May 25 and then they drove two hours back to Knoxville. How sweet it is, and here they are:

Sue and Wayne at Castle Yonder

May 25, 2010

Attendees at the Celebration said they felt like Rocky's spirit was all around  Castle Yonder during the day.  I think he visited us the next day, too!

Rainbow Over Castle Yonder, May 24, 2010

"Until we meet again, Rocky!"

Mimi

          

The Journey Ends

This is one of the last pictures taken of Rocky; on his 80th birthday March 4, 2010.


He passed away on May 11 of respiratory failure and pneumonia at the  Hospice House in Bristol, TN after almost two months of hospitalizations.










Details can be found on the CaringBridge website
http://www.caringbridge.org/rockyrockwell

ALERT!

     This is the view from Rocky's Hospice room. He began to decline through the rest of April and on May 5 was hospitalized with pneumonia and respiratory failure. Two days later he was transferred to Wellmont Hospice House.
It is a beautiful peaceful place. His son, Geoff, is here and we are keeping vigil. If you'd like to keep up with Rocky and me and our families, I have set up a website as follows:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/rockyrockwell
I'll be back on here when the skies are blue again.  Mimi

Room With A Blue Sky View

     This view is of the blue sky as seen from Rocky's hospital room last Saturday. There is no blue like sky blue!


     Rocky shows a little improvement in that he is eating better thanks to an appetite stimulant they are giving him. He also is less confused, thanks to the end of the heavy-duty pain meds. He's still getting pain meds but only the same ones he could take as needed at home.


     Physical therapists and occupational therapists come in to work with him every day and he was feeling frisky tonight, teasing me that he was going to get up and take a shower. I told him only with a nurse on each side would he have my permission. Then he asked if he had any clothes he could wear in public. I told him they were in the closet. He asked with a wicked grin if I would get them out. "Absolutely not!" I said, "Are you planning to go somewhere?" "I'm going to escape," he answered. I shook my head at him, "If you show up at the house, Louie (our beagle) is going to bark at you." It felt good to be bantering a little with him, even though his teasing smile was more wicked than teasing. Oh, Rocky, what am I going to do with you?


     Well, let's see what tomorrow brings. Oh, one thing it will bring I already know. My friend, Molly, is coming in the morning to visit with me. It will be so good to talk with her.  

The Hospital Patient

Hospital Patient

I stand in the doorway of my husband's hospital room

And look at the woman lying in bed across the hall,

She is the only patient my husband can see from his position,

But he's not well enough to be curious about his neighbors,

I imagine we are all that she can see

As I feed him and give him sips of water,

I cannot walk across the hall and visit her,

My husband is in isolation and I must remain

Yellow gowned and rubber gloved.

I cannot tell how old she is,

I see her lying on her back with only

Her face and hair showing above the covers,

Sometimes her hair looks blonde, sometimes silver,

A young middle-aged man in weary clothes comes every day

And he does for her what I do for my husband,

He feeds her and gives her sips of water,

If he is her son, he is devoted,

If he is her husband, she is lucky,

I stand in our doorway and she looks my way,

I flutter my fingers in a wave,

She doesn't see, she is looking beyond me,

And then her face changes and she is focused,

She slips her hand from under the blanket

And waves back,

I think she smiles.

                  
                                                                 

Irma "Mimi" Rockwell, April 13, 2010

Rebirth: Redbud Tree

     Rocky and I have watched this redbud tree grow from a sapling, and each April for the last decade at least we have enjoyed its bloom early in the Spring.


     This year, Rocky will miss it so I have to enjoy it doubly so. Rocky is still in the hospital, of course, and has been in Select Specialty Hospital for one week today. I spoke with his doctor yesterday who said there is still hope that Rocky will make it, but he has to start eating. I reported that to Rocky and he ate much better today. He is also less anxious but is on some heavy-duty medicines. As the doctor says, he has lots of problems and is in poor physical condition. But he has not reached the "Comfort Care Only" stage, yet. 


     We wait to see what the near future holds and what God wills.  


Mimi

Rocky In The Hospital

                                                   The View From Rocky's Hospital Room

     On March 17, Rocky went to the ER with a slight fever and exacerbation of his COPD. Two days there and he fell and cracked three ribs. It was all downhill from there.

     The meds they gave him made him delusional and a little hard to handle. Finally he reached discharge stage and because we didn't think I could do what he needed here at home, he was transferred to a skilled nursing facility. The first night there, he had such abdominal pain that they sent him to the ER and he was re-admitted to the hospital again, this time with an infected gall bladder. 

     More pain, more meds, more delusions, lots of talk about dying. We prepared for him to die, and reviewed his desires about internment and memorial service. I read the 23rd Psalm to him and he asked me to read more Psalms. I read Tabori's poetry from The Shores Of Eternity, a collection of positive poems about the wonder of dying.

      The Hospice folks came in and evaluated him and he qualifies. He stopped talking about dying and said he wants to live as long as he can as long as he can be comfortable. Finally, on April 5 his son, Geoff, and I decided an appropriate discharge was to move Rocky to the Select Specialty hospital, which is independent from Bristol Regional Hospital but leases space from them on the 5th floor. 

     On April 6, Rocky was transferred. He is no longer getting morphine. His gall bladder has been drained since he is not a candidate for surgery because of his COPD. He has received

lots of antibiotics and will receive even more since he now has developed two more infections and is in isolation. As of today, Geoff and I have to wear a gown and rubber gloves when we're in his room. Hope that doesn't last too long.

     The goal for him that we've all agreed on is for him to gain strength and the ability to take care of his bathroom needs and walk short distances in the house. Then he will be discharged to our home with Hospice following.

     Please pray for us. 

Hospital

     My husband, Rocky, was hospitalized on March 17 because of exacerbation of his (COPD) emphysema and fever. They were stabilizing him when somehow he cracked three ribs so now he has a lot of pain and as a result is a little confused. 


     Personally, I am either coming down with a cold or my hayfever is acting up. I didn't go into the hospital today which is problematic since an anesthesiologist was coming to do a Consult to see what he could suggest for pain management. I also had a scoliosis test that I had to re-schedule.


     Once we find out when Rocky can come home, his son and grandaughter will work out a plan for coming here to help us out.

Rocky's Birthday "Party"

     Five years ago Rocky was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, the kind that cannot be surgically removed. We didn't think he was going to make it and were prepared for the worst. 


     Miraculously, he tolerated and responded well to chemotherapy and radiation treatments. He gave up smoking, although slowly, and went on to have a hernia removed, was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and then had a mild stroke that affected his vision in the only good eye he has. By the summer of 2005, the COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder) was causing him most of his physical problems and over the years, he learned to administer his own breathing treatments, uses supplemental oxygen, and uses a cane.


     So, last year when I realized he probably was going to celebrate his 80th birthday, I really wanted to give him a surprise party. But he asked me not to, and although I considered giving him one anyway, when I thought about his frail physical condition, I decided not to.


     However, 80 years total of life and 5 years of cancer survival plus the other problems he's had, I really wanted to recognize his 80th birthday in some way. That's when I came up with the idea of the birthday card shower through the USPS. As of today, his birthday, he had received 74 cards, about 8 e-mail messages, and numerous phone calls.


     So, today, just the two of us had a party! We had cake:

with candles on it; one big 8 and one 0.

Rocky loves chocolate cake!

     Then there were presents, one from me and one from our handyman, a pair of candlesticks he had hand carved.

     He was especially pleased with the Bose music system I gave him.

We spent the rest of the afternoon opening half of the birthday cards. Most everyone wrote notes with theirs, so I read the notes and recorded the sender. Hopefully, Rocky will be able to carry out his plan to tell a story while I record it with my little Flip camera and then post it on You Tube as a thank-you to everyone who sent a card. 

Here Rocky is with his cards,

We are hoping our grandchildren will be able to get away and come over this weekend.

It's "iffy" since Jessica works in a restaurant and Chris has many obligations around music.  But Rocky and I have most of a cake here, and we can fill the house with music!

     

In Like A Lion, Out Like A Lamb

     This is our "castle", our home in the woods, in late winter. Every day this week, we've had snow on the ground in the mornings but by afternoon it's melted off.
     Do you remember the old saying about March? "In like a lion, out like a lamb"? Since childhood I've hoped that March would begin windy and wild, because that would mean April would begin softly. Since my birthday is only one day into April, then I would have a pleasant day--at least weather-wise.
     That hope has only intensified as an adult since we often get a hard freeze the end of March, first of April, that kills blueberry and azalea blossoms which makes me grit my teeth. It will even set back peony, iris, and daylily growth, not kill it but the plant will have to start over again.
     Now this year confuses me. The first couple days of March haven't been windy, but they have been cold with snow on the ground every morning so far. Does that mean the lamb of April will bring warm temperatures with gusts of wind? 
     Well, I'm sure you remember what Mark Twain said about the weather, "Everyone talks about it but nobody does anything about it." (Sort of like our national economy!)
     Since that's the case, then I'll just keep on hibernatin' until it's time to exchange my wool cap for a head scarf!

Anticipation for Rocky's Birthday

     As of today, Rocky has received somewhere around 50 birthday cards and there's two more days to go. Because of some inquiries I've had, I realized some people might have gotten confused about whether they were being invited to send Rocky a birthday card or come to a party. 


     So when I went to the grocery store yesterday, I ordered a birthday cake just in case someone drops by. There's always coffee brewing in our household!


     I also bought Rocky a special birthday present--a combination Bose radio and cd player. Our great room has cathedral ceilings so I ordered the Bose radio for large spaces, so it should fill the entire house with music. There is so little Rocky can do anymore to entertain himself, but one thing he can do is listening to the PBS radio station. So, I'm hoping he will enjoy this gift.


     I'll let you know in a couple of days!  

A Smoothie Move

     Last night I decided to make Strawberry Smoothies with a new blender. I put the 2 cups of partially-thawed strawberries along with one mashed up banana and a king-size dribble of orange juice. I mixed it up and the blender buttons worked fine. Then I added 2 cartons of strawberry yogurt, and hit the "Blend" button. The mixture turned a beautiful shade of pink, although it was a bit closer to the Pepto Bismol shade I didn't want to think about. 

     I wanted to empty the contents into a small pitcher and it just didn't want to dislodge from the blender's base. So I turned the glass, and turned it, and turned it. Finally, I felt it give, and OOPS! I had Pepto Bismol Smoothie all over the counter, the little pitcher, the toaster, the blender, and dribbling down the cupboard to the floor.

     What a mess! And right before bedtime when I was hoping for a snack. I took an aspirin instead.

Mimi

The 80 Year Old Antique

     My husband, Rocky, known as "The Old Coot" on another of my blogs used to collect and tinker with antique cars. That's just an example of an interest of a man who has been interested in many subjects, and thereby becoming a most interesting person to know.
     In the 35 years I've known him, Rocky has never ceased to amaze me with his abilities from playing the piano to laying stone to building furniture. And telling stories about it all!
     Rocky will become 80 years old on March 4. I wanted to have a surprise party for him, but he asked me not to and with his health (and the weather) keeping both of us inside this winter, I decided it wasn't a good idea.
     So as a substitute celebration, I thought it would be fun to shower Rocky with birthday cards. So I've sent out postcards, e-mail invitations, and Facebook announcements to ask friends, new and old, to surprise Rocky with a mailed birthday card on or around his birthday, March 4, two weeks from today. I've invited them to include a personal message, a memory, or an anecdote if they wish.
     If you're reading this and did not get a notice about the card shower, please send him one. He will be surprised, heart-touched, and probably embarrassed. Thanks!  Mimi

The King Cake

   

This is a true story about a Mardi Gras custom:

     Our very good friends lived about 75 miles north of New Orleans so we visited in the area several times a year for well over a decade. 

     One year we were there for a storytelling event the weekend before Mardi Gras started. Everyone was at the community college theater where the storytelling was taking place. I left the theater early so I could go to our host's house to help set the table etc., in preparation for a late-night party. 

     No one else was there when I arrived. As I got out the cups and plates etc. I noticed that someone had left a cake on the table while we were all gone. "What ugly purple and gold icing," I thought. (Remember, I come from Indiana and didn't know anything about Mardi Gras customs.) 

     Wanting to be helpful, I decided to cut the cake into squares, and I had made the first long vertical cuts and had started on the horizontal when a storyteller, and baker of the cake, walked through the door. With her loudest voice, "What are you doing?" she screeched. I was confused, holding the knife in the air, "Why, cutting this cake into serving pieces." 

     Needless to say, she took the knife away from me and firmly instructed me on the meaning  of a King Cake, the special tradition surrounding its cutting, and that it definitely is NOT cut prior to the festivities.  

Mimi

Happy Valentines Day

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

Anonymous

“Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.”

Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.

“Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.”

Anonymous

“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.”

Hoosier Farmer

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”

Erich Segal

“Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun.”

Anonymous

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.”

Aerosmith

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”

Jules Renard

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”

Peter Ustinov

“Love is a grave mental disease.”

Plato

A Whipped Cream Winter

     Ever wonder what it's like to live inside a marshmallow? Well, we here at Castle  Yonder are finding out--once again. The big snow of the East Coast missed us last weekend, but found us yesterday. Still, we didn't get as much snow as DC, Philly, etc. but measured 8.5 inches accumulated on our deck railings.


     Snow like this used to mean snow play--building snowmen, throwing snowballs, and finding things to slide on. Especially when the grandchildren were visiting, and way long, long ago back to childhood.


     Now, snow means sitting inside looking out--if you're lucky. We are definitely snowbound. Running our 4-wheel drive truck would mean shoveling it out first and getting the ice off it which is not only too labor-intensive for us oldies, but dangerous for us as well. 


      I've pretty much used up all the quickie meals from the grocery store I've had frozen, and am at the point of finding recipes to go with what I'm digging up out of our small chest freezer. BTW, that freezer is over 25 years old. It's never been defrosted and I can see ice build-up at the bottom. Also, I spilled a package of pecans in there so I see nuts scattered through the ice crystals. I hate to think how much energy it's using!


     Fortunately, our dear neighbor, Rudy, called this morning to see if we need anything. I asked if he thought he could get back here with his vehicle, and he said, "I'll walk it in if I have to." Bless his heart!


     So all we really need is a gallon of milk and our mail. I also have 4 letters here he'll pick up and mail for us. Hopefully, by the 17th when I have an eye appointment, we'll be able to get out.